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When a parent or guardian discovers that their child is self-harming, many things can run through their mind. Is my child wanting to die? Is my child wanting attention? Has something happened that I don’t know about? What could I have done to prevent this? What do we do now? These are comments that as a counselor, I hear regularly. No one discovers that their child is self-harming and blows it off or minimizes it. No one wants to learn about self harm or discover that their child is cutting or another type of self-harm. Life does not ask us when a good time for a crisis is, it just happens.
How do I Approach my Child?
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When you have discovered your child has been cutting, the last thing you need to do is give your child a big lecture with yelling and punishments/threats. Approach your child with empathy and caring. You may not understand what they are thinking or doing, but you still know more about your child than you think you do. Listen to them, try to see it from their perspective and from their developmental level. Which will be extremely difficult, but you can do hard things. Your reaction may not be perfect or even appropriate, because no one is prepared to discover their child is performing self-harm. Be willing to ask for forgiveness and tell your kids you messed up in your reaction and want to do better.
What do I do now?
The first thing you want to do when you discover your child has been self-harming, is to determine the level of safety. If there is any doubt about whether your child has plans to lethally harm themselves or someone else, go to the nearest emergency room or call 911. If there is not a level of lethal harm, contact your primary care provider to set up a visit to discuss the self-harm and make sure everything is okay physically. The next thing to do is begin to get your child help to stop and prevent self harm in the future. This is done through counseling, either individual or family counseling. Counseling can help children and parents learn coping skills, make a safety plan, learn to identify triggers and gain insight on mental health issues that may be accompanying, such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc. Counseling can be a support for families who are walking through all types of hardships and meet them where they are and help them get where they want to be.
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Get Help From a Counselor in Palestine, TX
At Cypress Roots Counseling, we understand the struggle that individuals and couples face today and want to come alongside them to help them on the marathon of relationships. By scheduling a consultation you can meet with a therapist to discuss your needs and goals for couples counseling. It is never too late to seek counseling for yourself, your relationship or your family. Trust your instincts and the feeling that something is not right and get help today. Our team would be honored to offer support from our Palestine, TX-based practice. Get started today by giving us a call at (903) 300-2705, emailing us at jaclyn@cypressrootscounseling.com or by clicking the Request appointment below.
Other Services Offered at Cypress Roots Counseling
We understand that you may be dealing with more than one mental health or relationship or parenting concerns. Cypress Roots Counseling offers individual and couples counseling, as well as parenting help. Ethical, professional and confidential services are what you will experience at Cypress Roots Counseling. There are many types of counseling, but at Cypress Roots you will encounter CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), Solution-Focused Therapy and Gottman Method (Couples).
