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I am consistently receiving texts from my child. Please come and get me. Please let me leave. Please don’t make me go to this social event. Please don’t make me stay for this assignment. It is a benefit that your child has their cell phone at school so that you can contact them to know that they are safe. However, it can become a burden on you when they are contacting you constantly. I need to leave. I need you to do this. I don’t wanna be here when you have the situation of your child consistently wanting to leave school. We really need to dig into what is going on below the surface more than likely it has nothing to do with that particular school day assignment or environment, but everything to do with sleep emotions, and social factors the toll that this can begin to take on the parent and child relationship is significant the child is reaching out to their parent because they trust them they want them to be a help and to Solve their problems, black wise the parent wants to be the savior to make everything OK for their kids to always be there for them however, parents have the knowledge of how important school attendance is and the consequences when school is not attended as required you get lost in a shuffle of school attendance is very important. However, something’s really going on with my child. What should I do? School attendance is a common and complex issue with a lot of students, sometimes it can be for vacations, unable to attend school academic issues are simply not being emotionally available enough to be around other people.
What Is The Root Cause
There can be many reasons why your child is wanting to leave school regularly. First, let’s discuss emotional struggles. This could be due to things that are going on at home whether they be financial relationship issues or even big changes. Also, we can’t Discount anxiety depression, the constant worry of what are people gonna think what are they gonna do? What if this happens, what if I fail, what if I’m not able to live up to all the expectations?Also, bullying can have a big impact on the emotional health of anyone. The second possible cause is academic weight. Today more than ever there is a drive to succeed for your kids to do their best. Be the top of their class. Take all honors classes, take college classes when you’re in high school, start everything early and be ahead of the game. This can be so exhausting for so many kids. What I hear from a lot of teenage kids is they really don’t know why they’re an honor. They just always happen they don’t enjoy it, and it puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on them when they would like to be doing other things such as extracurricular activities or hanging out with her friends, this is definitely a conversation to be had on an individual basis discussing needs and wants however, we must not lose side of the fact that the crucial developmental Stage of the school years and how important that is to allow your child to actually be a child to not rush them to grow up, but allow them to learn and grow by their own successes and failures. The last possible cause could be issues within the family. This can range from illness of a close or extended family member, a sudden or expected death, big changes like parents moving jobs, which requires us to move. New Homes, new towns, new schools, emotional academics, and family are all possible root causes of why your child may be wanting to leave school early regularly. Sometimes you can pinpoint and say this is exactly why this is happening. If you can, that’s great. If not, then it’s time to get some help. There is no shame in seeking professional counsel from someone who can come in with a different set of eyes, be objective about the situation and offer guidance to not only equip you with the skills to help your child through this time, but also help your child through whatever it is they’re going through.
What Am I Supposed To Do?
Many parents don’t know what to do when their child is texting them furiously from school. “Please come and get me. I can’t stay here anymore. I’ll do anything just let me leave school.” The first thing to do is we definitely do not want to meet the emotion of our child now the first option you have is to assess the situation. Know that your child is at school. they are safe and well and you actually don’t have to respond to them and that’s OK. You can leave them on red or delivered for however long you like that is not ignoring or cruelty that is simply setting a boundary with your child which is all right if you find yourself puzzled about what’s going on and you know that you’re going to get a very emotional response from your child go ahead and call the school. Speak to the administrator and say hey she’s texting me. Do you know if anything is going on? There’s often a lot of insight that you can gain from teachers and administrators to help with the situations. If you choose to respond to their text, let them know you hear them. You can see how distressed they are. You know how difficult this is for them to be going through such a hard time and I have to be at school and be expected to complete their work, reassuring them that you’re there and you see them is probably one of the most important things while also conveying love and compassion of hey I can’t come and get you or you can’t leave at this time due to XYZ. Then you have to decide: do you call him out or make him stay? This is a decision that is to be made on an individual basis. If you find that it is a regular occurrence meaning daily if not weekly of your child texting you please come and get me I need to leave. I can’t be here anymore. You have a big issue on your hands that you need to get in front of and not only solve what’s going on, but be proactive about the future. It is OK to let your child leave school when they’re upset or allow them to have a mental health day. It’s definitely not OK to allow your child to continue to miss school, which is interfering with instructional time with their academics and puts them at risk of failing. We definitely do not want to cause more harm so we need to be very cautious about what we do at this moment. Talk to your child beforehand and let them know. Hey, you’ve been texting me a lot from school wanting to leave. Tell me more about that. This is another great example of how a trained professional can counsel not only the parent but the child on figuring out what’s going on but giving them active tools to proactively prevent these motion field texts and calls from school with pleas to leave.
How Do We Prevent This?
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There are ways to prevent big emotional outburst from your child while they’re at school are really anywhere. We can one learn our triggers learn what helps us what hurts us? Also what to do in these situations are key skills that can be topped from a trained professional on mindfulness breathing, journaling, learning to listen to our body to tune into what we really need. There are many ways at school that you can set up your child for success. One could be speaking with the counselor or trying to figure out. Is there a safe space for this child at school? Is there someone trusted that they can go and speak with now? Let me be clear. We definitely do not want to provide a place that the student is going to go to every day several times a day missing instruction causing or disruption to other classes. That’s not the purpose of having a safe space or a safe person at school the purpose of having those places is to allow them to go somewhere at school when they’re really wanting to leave whether it’s lunch in a different area or a break or maybe just to change an environment and going to do her work in another space we don’t want them to always have a way out because if they always have a way out, they will never learn how to deal with their situation on their own. One of the greatest gifts you can teach your child is it’s OK to be uncomfortable. It’s OK to be around conflict. Our society has deemed being uncomfortable or conflict as a no go as an immediate. Hey, we need to escape the situation because this is unsafe when in reality, life is full of uncomfortable situations and when you have two or more gathered, there will be conflict. Conflict is OK. We can learn how to disagree with someone while still maintaining a healthy relationship.
Conclusion
You are not alone. There is help for you and your child. No matter what stage you are in or what developmental stage you’re about to go into with your child. Learning how to help your child cope with difficult situations is needed at preschool, elementary, middle school and even high school age. When you are asking for help to communicate and learn more skills to help your child, it is not an act of surrender or defeat. Rather, it’s a sign that there is a better way I want what is best for my child and what is best for my family. If that involves seeking professional help from a counselor to navigate issues, then that’s what we need to do. Helping your child to learn skills to withstand difficult situations and to have academic and social stamina will not only serve them in school, but will also serve them in their years of college or young adulthood and even early on into their career. The point of counseling is to not go to counseling. When you ask for help, you are not signing onto a lifelong commitment but rather hate when I need help I can get help.
Get Help Now
At Cypress Roots Counseling, we understand the struggle that individuals and couples face today and want to come alongside them to help them on the marathon of relationships. By scheduling a consultation you can meet with a therapist to discuss your needs and goals. It is never too late to seek counseling for yourself, your relationship or your family. Trust your instincts and the feeling that something is not right and get help today. Our team would be honored to offer support from our Palestine, TX office or Fairfield, TX office. With multiple locations, Cypress Roots wants to make accessing therapy easier than ever. By offering in person appointments or telehealth, we are removing barriers from receiving counseling. Get started today by giving us a call at (903) 300-2705, emailing us at jaclyn@cypressrootscounseling.com or by clicking the Request appointment below.
Other Services Offered at Cypress Roots Counseling
We understand that you may be dealing with more than one or many mental health, relationship or parenting concerns. Cypress Roots Counseling offers individual and couples counseling, as well as parenting help. Ethical, professional and confidential services are what you will experience at Cypress Roots Counseling. There are many types of counseling, but at Cypress Roots you will encounter CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), Solution-Focused Therapy, Gottman Method (Couples) Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Emotion Focused Therapy (Couples & Individual). Services are now available to Spanish speaking individuals and families. Los servicios están disponibles con un proveedor que habla español.
