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Receiving a devastating diagnosis can be one of the most dark and trying times of your life. Accepting the emotional weight of all that comes with receiving an unexpected diagnosis is one step in the journey of beginning to process this new way of life. No one plans to be unhealthy or to have cancer or for even their loved ones to experience a devastating diagnosis. We often wonder or see people around us and say man I don’t know how they’re going through that or how would I handle that. It’s one of those things that you don’t know until you walk that road on your own.It is OK to feel angry, sad, confused, and just downright bitter. I’ve been receiving a devastating diagnosis. Just because you were not positive the moment that you get the diagnosis does not mean that at some point along the journey, you cannot have a positive outlook on it. The old saying is true where you are, it’s not where you will be. This is very true when beginning a new medical journey. You are not alone and feeling that your entire world has just caved in and no one else is around. You know what you’re going through. It is true. The level of understanding of your diagnosis is personal. You’re the one who has the symptoms, the side effects and the impairment of daily life.However, the people around you can provide emotional support, empathy, and to step in in ways that are beneficial to your new way of life. Every emotion, feeling or thought that you have when you receive a devastating diagnosis is valid now it may not be the way that you thought you would handle something or the way that you wanted to handle something. This is a great example of how we cannot control what happens to us or around us, but we can’t control how we react to it.
It Is Okay to Feel
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Your brain’s whole job is to keep you alive. It helps to perceive danger as real or fake or even situations as rational or irrational. When your brain here’s the words of a devastating diagnosis, your body can go into fight or flight. What are we gonna do? Where are we gonna go? How are we gonna fix this? These are all normal thinThis is the way that your brain is supposed to process difficult things. It’s OK to feel that you just may want to be silent for A. time may not want to speak about your diagnosis or have everyone know about it. That’s definitely OK. You were riding your own story. No one else gets to have input except you. There is no one way to respond to this type of diagnosis however, some common responses are not accepting what’s being told to you, anxiety, uncontrollable thoughts, or just complete shutdown of your mind and body. Sometimes from the outside looking in, we can say that person did not handle that very well or I would’ve handled it very different.Well, what we need to do in these situations is if we’re the one receiving the diagnosis it’s to accept our journey, except our choices in our behavior, post diagnosis. Then also to not allow those around us to dictate what when or where we are feeling post diagnosis. There are times when we receive a medical diagnosis that it is truly an emergency and decisions need to be made very fast. If this is the case, you need to surround yourself with medical professionals, social support, and even prayer. As to making the best possible decision that you can in the situation.On the flip side of that is that you may not have an emergency situation you may be able to take some time to go through your choices and make some plans about your job, your home or any number of things. We need to not make a situation an emergency, The consequence of this is being stuck in fighter flight or being consumed with panic.
Where Do I Go From Here?
Take a deep breath, go for a walk, consult with some friends and continue living your daily life. That is what you need to do when you receive a devastating medical diagnosis: do not stop going to work, going to the grocery store, taking care of your home, taking care of your kids or your husband and continue to participate in your life. Keeping yourself in a routine will not only benefit your mental, emotional and physical health, but it’ll also help you to keep your priorities in line when you are being faced with very difficult decisions. Try to keep a record of all the interactions you have with medical professionals bring a trusted person with you to the doctor so that they can hear the information and make sure that you are doing everything you need to be doing or being able to relay that information onto concern, family, and friends.It’s OK to get a second opinion even. Doctors say the best that they can but sometimes they get it wrong just like any other profession seeking a second opinion doesn’t mean that you do not trust your medical professional or that you are seeking a higher level of care. It simply means you are wanting to do the most research possible to help you in this time of your life.It is critical at any time in your life to keep your eyes on the horizon and to keep moving forward. It is very critical that in a time where you very easily could bow your head and look down and not move forward with your life due to a devastating medical diagnosis. I would dare say that your healing would be tied to your outlook and how you’re handling things in your daily life.
Don’t Lose Sight Of Where You Are
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Things may look different and that’s OK. We must not lose sight of the progress that we’ve made in our life and our families and our careers just because we’ve received a devastating medical diagnosis. Many times we can become overrun with anxiety and fear of the future of the what if the mites that have been.When we fill these phrases swirling in our mind, we want to bring ourselves back to reality and where we really are and really where we want to go. Many times though what if our not even useful would never even happen but somehow we feel well if I can think through all what if I’m planning.Some ways to help yourself to get back to today and to focus on what is most important is to get adequate sleep coupled with proper sleep packaging. To have a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, protein, carbs, and anything else your doctor suggests in a lot of your new medical journey.To speak with a professional counselor therapist to help you through this trying time in your life. Get outside help to come into your home to help you whether for cleaning or childcare or even personal assistance to you. There are many ways to help you to stay grounded. You just have to figure out what works best for you. Another tool to stay focused on where you are and where you aren’t is to let those around you know this is what’s going on. These are my goals. These are things that I need to accomplish. There is a strong time to speak words, write them down and work towards a goal. If you have accountability with people in your life, that can also be a very important driver and helping you to stay focused on the task at hand
Who Can I Depend On?
Getting a devastating medical diagnosis can make you not only evaluate what’s going on around you but who you are surrounded by. It’s these times in life where your friendships and family are tested to see who is important enough to you or who you are more important to. Identifying some of these support people could be found in friends, family, church, family, or even a counselor. Another thing you can’t depend on is people to say the wrong thing. Many time situations where there is a devastating medical diagnosis people do not know what to say so they begin to talk about their uncle who had something are their child or something that they went to because that’s the only way that they can relate to you in that moment.Instead of being closed off to these comments, we need to filter them and to focus on the Karen concern of that person and not so much with their words, but let their actions upcoming and showing up for you and your time of need be the overarching theme. You also need to figure out ways to communicate with people around you on what you need and what you don’t need. For many people receiving a medical diagnosis is the first time in their life or they will actually have to ask for help.Or you could be someone who says I’m not gonna ask anyone for help. I can do it all on my own? These are both great options. There is one option that is better because that not only supports you, but it does not deplete all of your own resources as one would if you were doing everything on your own.
Tools During This Time
There are many resources and tools that you can use during this time. One great tool is counseling therapy to work through issues in a safe space with a trusted professional, who is objective in your situation and it’s not tied to you in any way. Journaling, exercising and getting outside traveling these are always to not only just distract but help you to continue to move forward in a journey of healing in a devastating time. Begin to set boundaries for yourself and begin to recognize unsolicited advice and come up with a blanket response of thank you so much for sharing that but I’m gonna stick with my current course of treatment. It can be very difficult to say no to people in your life, especially when these people may be very helpful, but there are strings attached and unwanted advances in someway.It is never a bad thing to put yourself first be selfish guard, your bedtime guard your long time guard your finances. Look for joy in your daily life. It does not have to come from buying things that are going places. It can simply be appreciating the sun on your face or standing in all of a beautiful full moon. These are things that are free to us that we oftentimes are too busy to even stop and enjoy. If you find yourself needing more tools during this time, give us a call at Cypress Roots Counseling. We want to be here for you and your time of need sets you up for success and help you get back on your way to living your best life. Not all can help you during this time. We can help your spouse or children or even friends who are struggling with how to support someone in their time of need.
Get Help Now
At Cypress Roots Counseling, we understand the struggle that individuals and couples face today and want to come alongside them to help them on the marathon of relationships. By scheduling a consultation you can meet with a therapist to discuss your needs and goals. It is never too late to seek counseling for yourself, your relationship or your family. Trust your instincts and the feeling that something is not right and get help today. Our team would be honored to offer support from our Palestine, TX office or Fairfield, TX office. With multiple locations, Cypress Roots wants to make accessing therapy easier than ever. By offering in person appointments or telehealth, we are removing barriers from receiving counseling. Get started today by giving us a call at (903) 300-2705, emailing us at jaclyn@cypressrootscounseling.com or by clicking the Request appointment below.
Other Services Offered at Cypress Roots Counseling
We understand that you may be dealing with more than one or many mental health, relationship or parenting concerns. Cypress Roots Counseling offers individual and couples counseling, as well as parenting help. Ethical, professional and confidential services are what you will experience at Cypress Roots Counseling. There are many types of counseling, but at Cypress Roots you will encounter CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), Solution-Focused Therapy, Gottman Method (Couples) Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Emotion Focused Therapy (Couples & Individual). Services are now available to Spanish speaking individuals and families. Los servicios están disponibles con un proveedor que habla español.
