“I don’t know how I ended up here. One minute I am sending my kids out into the world, becoming empty nesters, then I am thrown back into diapers, daycare and school drop off. I am thankful beyond words that I have the privilege of raising my grandkids, but a part of me is heartbroken. Heartbroken for my own kids who are not raising their children, for choices of their own making. Heartbroken for my grandkids who are being raised by their parents. If I am honest, I am heartbroken that my plans are put on hold.”
As a counselor, the above statement is a common one. Many grandparents are pulled back into parenting, when they were expecting to be grandparents. Confusion, heartbreak and sadness can be present when life does not go the way we plan.
How Did I Get Here
The background that leads to grandparents raising grandchildren can vary from death, drugs, deployments and so many more factors. The experience of raising grandkids can be great, knowing the conditions they are living in and what their life is like. Instead, of not knowing where they are, who they are with and if they are alright. Still, even with these assurances, it does not make the task easier.
Here We Go, Again
The shift from grandparent to parent, but still being the grandparent is full of challenges. Before you were raising them, you may have been the fun grandparent. From fun activities, gifts and special outings, everyone looked forward to the visits. Now, things are different. Everyday life is not special outings and gifts. Clean your room or be respectful are likely the conversations that are had most. Anytime there is a sudden change, it will be a shift felt by everyone. Grace needs to be given to the children and adults. Time heals most things, but raising your grandkids is something that does not go away or get smaller. Learning to cope with kids in the house, new routines, and a new noise level will take time, patience and a whole lot of forgiveness.
Kids These Days
Raising kids is definitely different than it was 20 years ago. Technology advancements alone are a huge shift that needs to be recognized for its difficulty to navigate with young people today. When you were raising your kids, the phone was corded and attached to the wall. Your grandkids may spend more time on their phone than talking to you. What does that mean? Is that okay? If you have found yourself asking these questions, it is time to get support. At Cypress Roots Counseling we have walked this road before with clients. We can come alongside you to be a guiding light and sounding board when it is all too much.
Looking Ahead and Behind
When children are being raised by anyone other than their parents, there can be confusion, grief and possibly anger. These emotions are valid and expected. Counseling can help kids with loss, anger and confusion to build coping skills, work through issues and find solutions to treat future issues. There are many challenges in providing full time care to your grandkids, but you do not have to do it alone. In the future, there are costs, unknowns and endless possibilities. In the past, grief, heartache, disappointments and loss were everywhere. There is hope to find peace where you currently are. Help is available, options are present and you are not alone. Reach out today to Cypress Roots Counseling to make an appointment today.
Get Help From a Counselor in Palestine, TX
At Cypress Roots Counseling, we understand the struggle that individuals and couples face today and want to come alongside them to help them on the marathon of relationships. By scheduling a consultation you can meet with a therapist to discuss your needs and goals for couples counseling. It is never too late to seek counseling for yourself, your relationship or your family. Trust your instincts and the feeling that something is not right and get help today. Our team would be honored to offer support from our Palestine, TX-based practice. Get started today by giving us a call at (903) 300-2705, emailing us at jaclyn@cypressrootscounseling.com or by clicking the Request appointment below.
Other Services Offered at Cypress Roots Counseling
We understand that you may be dealing with more than one mental health or relationship or parenting concerns. Cypress Roots Counseling offers individual and couples counseling, as well as parenting help. Ethical, professional and confidential services are what you will experience at Cypress Roots Counseling. There are many types of counseling, but at Cypress Roots you will encounter CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), Solution-Focused Therapy and Gottman Method (Couples).
