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Why am I so irritated all the time? This is what I hear from so many clients, particularly female clients. They feel as though they are not able to manage household tasks, parenting partner duties as well as their outside job and responsibilities. They feel like they’re not able to manage because they’re super irritable and cranky and not able to complete tasks without being interrupted to have to go do something else. Many times by the time they get to Counseling they feel as though that their marriage is near the end, that the relationships with their kids are irreparable, and that the way that they are is the way that they will always be. One example of this is a mom told a story about one morning. She was fixing breakfast for her kids, and they were arguing and not doing what they were told and she was standing at the counter with a jar of jelly in her hand and was so irritated she slammed the jelly jar down the counter to get her kids attention, and this jar shattered into 1 million pieces. It was in this moment that she knew hey I need to really take a step back and concentrate on what is important and not let my irritation God, my feelings. Feeling irritated with your kids’ partner jobs are even extended. Family is so relatable and expected. It does not mean that there is something wrong with you or you are flawed or you have reached your max capacity.It’s simply means that you are working very hard that your output is very high that your input is not able to keep up. This blog post will not only explore the reasons for chronic irritability, but also ways to manage and to learn to control it and not let it control you. I know it feels like things will always be this way and there will not be a day when you will not wake up irritated, but I am here to tell you that there is hope there is help to be had.
What Does Irritability Look Like?
The definition of irritability is one that is wide and not easily defended. It can cause a range of emotions from feeling slightly overwhelmed to also feeling literal sandpaper on your nerves when you’re around some people. It’s not linear. It is a journey that goes up and down and buries some person to person.What does it mean? If you’re irritable it means you’re actually feeling feelings if you aren’t irritable all the time you would either be numb happy or sad having one feeling to be a constant is not realistic having tons of emotions all flooding at once multiple times a day is more like it due to the fact that we are humans we are made up of feelings, we are surrounded by people who have feelings and in this world where there’s a lot of feelings and that’s OK. When does irritability become a problem? Irritability becomes a problem when it is getting in the way of our relationships, performance at work, marriage and being able to complete daily tasks and functions. Many times when people are overcome with irritability, they think I must be suffering from a serious mental health diagnosis because I’m irritable all the time. We need to remember that irritability is a symptom and not a diagnosis. Now is irritability a symptom of a lot of mental health diagnoses? Yes, it is but irritability alone is not enough to constitute a mental health diagnosis. If irritability is only a symptom, does it constitute enough to proceed to my doctor or to go into counseling? Yes it does. Irritability is a surface level of motion of something else that’s underneath the surface that is brewing and can grow into something not productive in your life.It is better to be proactive about a lot of mental health symptoms than to be reactive. If you find yourself being irritable or if you have had a jelly jar moment, it would be a great idea to go ahead and establish care with the counselor. Does that mean that you are broken or that you are suffering from a major mental health diagnosis now that means that you have recognized in your life that you have some limitations that are causing a great amount of impairment. That’s what it means.
What Causes Irritability?
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There are many causes of irritability: sleep, stress, mental health diagnoses, hormones, diet, substance use, boundaries. The amount of sleep that you are getting is 100% tied to your mental, emotional and physical well-being. When a client comes to sit before me no matter what they have come to counseling for the very first thing I will always assess is tell me how you are sleeping, 9 times out of 10 they have horrible sleep due to insomnia or maybe they have a sick child or maybe their husband stores there is always something that is preventing them from getting a good nights sleep. Having proper sleep hygiene is crucial in regaining control of your irritability as well as promoting wellness with mental emotional physical health. The amount of stress that you are under is also related to your irritability, it feels like at times that we are unable to control our stress level due to not being able to control many factors in our life such as when I have a flat tire or when my boss decides that I need to work late or when my child is sick through the night and I’ve done five loads of laundry and I’ve gotten zero hours of sleep. Just because we cannot always be in control of our outside surroundings we can be in control of what the stress does to us. We can allow the stress to fall over us and feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders, or we can take a step back and say hey I need to let go of some things for this one moment because I only have so many hands. There are many mental health conditions that irritability can be a symptom of Tonna. A few would be depression anxiety ADHD. When these conditions are left untreated, the symptoms will abound and cause great impairment to your life. If you already have a previous diagnosis of any of these conditions, and for example, have been on meds for a long time and find yourself having a great level of irritability. It’s time to revisit the diagnosis and medication management with your provider and/or a counselor.
Hormones are also a big factor in your level of irritability. Every day, women struggle with the level of their hormones, depending on what day it is in their cycle whether they’re in perimenopause or menopause or whether they’re a young teenage girl. Hormones, do you dictate a lot of our feelings and how we perceive things, however it is up to us to recognize when hormones are trying to take over and control us and there are ways that we can step back into the driver seat and not let our hormones control us. Diet is right next to sleep when it comes to the importance of mental, physical and emotional well-being. You will get out of your body what you put into it just like you get out of your mind what you put into your mind. There are so many times when clients come and sit before me and I ask them if they would like a bottle of water and they say I haven’t even drank any water today. I’ve been drinking coffee or soda. Substance use or abuse can also have a big factor in the level of irritability. It does not always mean that we are concerned with illegal substances because there are many legal substances that can cause a lot of health issues to us such as caffeine intake, soda, sugar, artificial ingredients. These are all things that can impact our nutrition intake and how our brain processes things. If we are constantly on a roller coaster with sugar, soda and caffeine, we can expect the same result with our emotions.The last call agreeability that we’re gonna focus on today will be boundaries or lack of boundaries and relationships with kids, partners, extended family or even at work. When our children do not have respect for us and our demanding of our time, money and energy, this can lead to a high level of irritability because there are many times parenting when it just is my numbing to have to tell your children for the 10,000 time to be respectful or to remember their manners or to stop acting a certain way the same as true at work with our partner or with our extended family when you get to the point of having extreme ability, you just wanna step away and stop trying to jump off the roller coaster. When you are in a high reactive state of your ability, it’s probably not the best time to speak to your family members or people close to you about your level of your ability. This is when it’s a great time to go speak to a third-party such as a counselor or therapist to learn strategies to be proactive about the level of variability instead of being reactive in that moment.
When Should I Seek Help?
Many times people are not aware of when they need to seek for mental health Symptoms such as irritability the moment you want to seek help from your primary care, doctor or from a professional counselor or therapist is when the irritability is causing major impairment to your mental well-being, your relationship relationships, your family, your work, or any other external or internal factors. If you have asked yourself the question of why am I so irritable all the time? I’d really don’t even wanna be around anyone if you have found yourself asking yourself that question. It’s past time to get help to become aware of your symptoms and what is causing them and what to be able to do about them. I trusted professionals who can help you not only identify your irritability. Why you have irritability, but help you move forward to a path of healing.
Is There Any Help?
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Yes, there is hope and help to be found when you are dealing with irritability. The number one thing is to begin to become aware of when you are most irritable and less irritable. Many times people say well I’m always irritable. I’m at the same level all the time I beg to differ, we need to know how do you feel when you wake up how do you feel when you go to sleep monitor your feelings throughout the day this information can be critical and not only helping you assess and manage your symptoms, but also extremely helpful to a mental health, professional, and helping you identify effective coping strategies for your life. You have to begin to put yourself first. This may mean, taking a couple nights off a week now can you take a break from your life? Not really you can reduce your load though you can say hey I’m not cooking tonight. Eat what you want, clean up your own mess. Does this make you a bad mom or provider? Nope it just makes you a wise one to know that you do have a limit. You can take part in stress reducing strategies, such as exercise, mindfulness, or even meeting with the group. Work with a mental health professional to identify strategies to communicate your level of irritability and things that you need to change in your life with those around you. There is no perfect definition of irritability. There is no perfect cause of irritability. There is no perfect curability irritability. It is all going to depend on multiple factors in your life, but what I wanna leave you with is that there is hope you do not have to live a life that is ruled by irritability.
Get Help Now
At Cypress Roots Counseling, we understand the struggle that individuals and couples face today and want to come alongside them to help them on the marathon of relationships. By scheduling a consultation you can meet with a therapist to discuss your needs and goals. It is never too late to seek counseling for yourself, your relationship or your family. Trust your instincts and the feeling that something is not right and get help today. Our team would be honored to offer support from our Palestine, TX office or Fairfield, TX office. With multiple locations, Cypress Roots wants to make accessing therapy easier than ever. By offering in person appointments or telehealth, we are removing barriers from receiving counseling. Get started today by giving us a call at (903) 300-2705, emailing us at jaclyn@cypressrootscounseling.com or by clicking the Request appointment below.
Other Services Offered at Cypress Roots Counseling
We understand that you may be dealing with more than one or many mental health, relationship or parenting concerns. Cypress Roots Counseling offers individual and couples counseling, as well as parenting help. Ethical, professional and confidential services are what you will experience at Cypress Roots Counseling. There are many types of counseling, but at Cypress Roots you will encounter CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), Solution-Focused Therapy, Gottman Method (Couples) Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Emotion Focused Therapy (Couples & Individual). Services are now available to Spanish speaking individuals and families. Los servicios están disponibles con un proveedor que habla español.
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